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Main Information

Gslot Casino was established in 2020 by N1 Interactive Limited. Powered by SoftSwiss, is is easy to navigate and offers a strong slot game selection of more than 5,000 titles, from big names such as Yggdrasil, Microgaming, and NetEnt.
Jackpot games and table games, such as multiple versions of roulette and blackjack are also offered and there is a good selection of live dealer games.
Gslot complies with Maltese and European laws and is a safe and secure website. Players can also set up a two-factor authentication (2FA) for extra security if they so choose.
There’s 24-hour customer support, and a VIP club with ten levels, where players are rewarded for playing time based on the amount but also the consistency of their deposits.


The Gslot welcome offer is a three-part deposit bonus available to new customers when they join Gslot, which is broken down as follows:
First deposit – minimum 20 EUR, use bonus code G100 to receive 100% match bonus up to 100 EUR + 100 free spins Second deposit - minimum 20 EUR, use bonus code G50 to receive 50% match bonus up to 100 EUR + 50 free spins Third deposit - minimum 25 EUR, use bonus code GS to receive 25 free spins on Ancient Egypt, with 25 more free spins for Ancient Egypt to be awarded on the next Egyptian Fortune day
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Gslot boasts more than 5,000 games from the biggest and best providers in the business. From Yggdrasil’s Vikings Go Berserk, and NetEnt’s Starburst, to Playtech’s hugely popular Age of the Gods series, there is something here for everyone.
There are sporting slots such as Yggdrasil’s Bicicleta and games based on TV shows such as BigTimeGaming’s Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Megaways. There are fantasy games from Novomatic and historical offerings such as Admiral Nelson from Amatic, as well as animal slots, classic fruit machines, pirates, superheroes and more. You can travel the world, from Asia to Ancient Egypt, all without leaving your seat. And that’s just the slots.
Gslot also offers a wealth of roulette and blackjack, and live dealer games that recreate the feel of a real casino. There are also a whole host of jackpot games for you to try, and you can search either by game type or by game provider. You can also type a word such as ‘Fairy’ into the top bar search box to find all games which include that keyword in their title.

Mobile Version

As a new online casino, Gslot has been created to be mobile responsive and doesn’t lose anything when you switch to the mobile version, displaying perfectly.
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Payments & Security

The currently accepted currencies are Euro "EUR", US Dollar "USD", New Zealand Dollar "NZD", Canadian Dollar "CAD", Norwegian Krone "NOK", Polish Zloty "PLN", South African Rand "ZAR", and Japanese yen "JPY". Restricted countries include Anguilla, Australia, Belgium, the Czech Republic, Lithuania, Estonia, France and its overseas territories (Guadeloupe, Martinique, French Guiana, Reunion, Mayotte, St Martin, French Polynesia, Wallis and Futuna, New Caledonia), Israel, Italy, Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain, Turkey, Ukraine, the United Kingdom, the United States of America, the Russian Federation, Gibraltar, and Jersey.
There is a large number of payment numbers available for payments and withdrawals, including; Visa Credit/Debit Cards, MasterCard, Neteller, Skrill, Neosurf, bank transfers, iDebit, Instadebit, ecoPayz and Interac e-transfer. You can also make payments through Rapid by Skrill, Paysafecard, and Giropay, although these options are not available for withdrawals.
The minimum for most of the payment and withdrawal methods is 20 with a maximum amount of 5,000. However, iDebit and Instadebit require a minimum of 30 CAD and the maximum is 7,500 CAD. All payment methods are secure and your details will not be shared with any third parties.
Unlimited withdrawal limits on some payment methods The maximum withdrawal amount processed to a player is 5,000 €/$ per day, 10,000 €/$ per week and 30,000 €/$ per month
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Gslot states it has a customer support team on hand 24/7 to answer your questions. If you have any issues, you can click on the support link which takes you to a contact form to fill out. There is also a feedback button where you can draw on the screen and send a screenshot, or send an instant message. Finally, if you want to complain, you can contact the site’s ADR provider via a separate form.


Gslot is the latest online casino from an established company in N1 Interactive Limited and there’s no reason it shouldn’t appeal to lots of players, just like its predecessors. Such a huge game selection is a big draw, particularly when its coupled with a generous welcome offer, regular promotions for existing members and a progressive VIP club which rewards its most loyal and prolific players. The design is simple but the site is well laid out and utilises characters from some of the featured games to give it a little extra style. With fast payments and withdrawals, and 24-hour customer support, Gslot looks to be onto a winner.
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GSlot Casino - free spins, no deposit bonus, promotion

GSlot Casino - free spins, no deposit bonus, promotion

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Gslot Casino Review

Under the Malta Gaming Authority regulation, Gslot Casino continues to offer you the best online casino games. It is operated by N1 interactive limited, which is a reputable company in the gaming space. So, this is not a scam, and therefore you don’t have to worry when sealing a deal with it.
You could be wondering why you must choose Gslot casino. Worry no more. Upon registering with Gslot casino, you will get a lucrative welcome bonus, the best games from reputable game providers, and multiple payment options, among other great things. As you can see, this is a company worth trying a shot. The uniqueness of their games is a result of a partnership with reputable software providers. Some of these providers include the following:
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A reason to strike a betting deal with them does not end here. You will get a chance to play most of their games using your phone. In other words, their games are mobile-enabled. With this in place, you can play anytime and from anywhere.
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Gslot Casino Promotions

At Gslot, you are treated like a VIP, especially if you are a new customer. After creating an account, you will get a welcome bonus of €100 plus 100 free spins. This is a 100% match bonus. With the 100 free spins welcome bonus, you can play Book of dead by play’ Go. For you to get this deposit, you must make a minimum deposit of €20.
The trend of winning the bonus continues up to the third deposit. For the second deposit, you will get a 50% match bonus of up to €100. Additionally, you will get 50 free spins. The minimum amount of deposit is €20, and you must enter G50 as the bonus code. On your third deposit, you will get 50 free spins that you can use to play Ancient Egypt and Egyptian Fortune. Also, remember to enter GS as the bonus code.

Gslot Casino Online Games

As a Gslot customer, you are spoilt for choices when it comes to online games. These games have the best user experience since experts like Evolution Gaming and NetEnt have developed them. Some of the games you will find include the following:
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Online Slot at Gslot Casino

Online slots form the main part of the Gslot portfolio. There are more than a hundred of them, and they have a friendly user experience. Also, some of them have daily and weekly bonuses attached to them. The most common ones include:
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Live Casinos

This one gives you a chance to play something near to a real game. You do this by playing with a dealer. However, you must be willing to dedicate your time. The games that you will find here include:
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Jackpot Games

If you are the kind that longs for winning big, then try jackpot games at Gslot casino. There are more than a hundred of them at Gslot casino. The most common one includes:
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Gslot Casino Roulette

Another category of games that can make you win big is Roulette. Whether it is Video Roulette or Live Roulette, they can both be money-spinners. If you want to play the best from top software developers, try the ones at Gslot casino.
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Every gaming site cannot be complete if it doesn’t offer blackjack games. They are the most played and also have a commendable user experience. Gslot is not behind in this one. You will find blackjack games such as:
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GSlot Casino Deposit Options

Making money is the main reason why you gamble. As a result, you need various ways to make a deposit. These options for making a deposit, however, should be secure, fast, and reliable. Gslot has got you covered. They offer you more than ten deposit options. All of them have been tested and proved to be safe, fast, and secure. The minimum deposit you can make with each method is €20. They include the following.
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Currencies Accepted at Gslot Casino

A very important factor that mostly gets overlooked is the currency used by any gambling site. As a precaution, you should check first if the site supports your currency. If the currency is not supported, you will not be able to make a deposit or request a withdrawal. Also, the currency must be supported by the e-wallet platform that you normally use. Gslot casino has some of the most commonly used currencies. They include:
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GSlot Mobile Casino

Now you can play your favorite game at Gslot casino with the help of mobile apps. You can also access the Gslot website through a phone. What you need is just a supported browser. For the app, you only need to download the app from the Google play store or AppStore. After that, you can install it on your android or iPhone and access your favorite Gslot games. This has made things easier since you can bet anytime you want. You also enjoy betting from anywhere since the mobile is portable. The normal desktops version only allowed you to play in a specific place since you cannot move with them.
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Amidst stiff competition in the gambling industry, most sites are doing their best to offer their customers something unique. If they don’t, they may not survive in the long run. Gslot casino has positioned itself in the gaming space by offering great services to its customers. From a variety of games, secure payment methods, lucrative bonuses, mobile functionality, professional customer support, and multiple currencies, nobody can beat it. Gslot casino has considered its customers as an asset to them and not a liability. With this in mind, they offer you unmatched services. With that information now, you can try your luck at Gslot casino.
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That reminds me of a story.
After that last one, I thought you might all enjoy a short follow up.
After Al, Chuck, Leo, returned to their other lives back in the world, they kept getting requests from various Agencies and Bureaus for more mine closure data, mostly focusing upon lines of documentation. The various Bureaus desired monographs, road guides, technical reports, and most importantly, detailed step-by-step “How To” manuals.
My guys, now my fully credentialed doctored colleagues, were predictably reticent to write up “How To” manuals for something that was obviously not of their authorship nor inception.
“Fuckin’-A, Rock,” Leo tells me in a phone call, “They want me to fuckin’ basically claim-jump you writing up mine closing procedures. What’s with these goatfuckers? They figured they paid you enough and are now trying to run a goddamned end around? Collective shitheels. No fucking way I’d even think of crossing, even accidently, the Motherfuckin’ Pro from Dover.”
I replied that I had no idea, as after the initial contacts after the field season, I had heard precisely dick from any of the bureaus. Which is fine, as I’m busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm getting ready to shift the family some 12,700 kilometers east.
I thanked Leo for the intel and told him not to worry, it’s just bureaucracy misfiring at its finest.
“Fuckin’-A, Bubba,” replies Leo as he hangs up.
It suddenly goes all dusty in my office. “I’ve trained that boy well,” I sniff and chuckle heartily.
A short while later, Al wrote me that he’s been contacted by the Bureau/Agency and they are desirous that he lead a field trip with a gaggle of professors from various universities. They are also not all geologists, but Environmental Scientists, Hydrologists, something called an “Environmental Engineer,” and other forms of societal detritus.
He tells me that they wanted him to lead a group of these characters out into the desert for a couple of weeks and show them the mine closure procedures which he developed.
He was most adamant in assuring me that they contacted him, and that the terminology was also theirs. He was already otherwise engaged, so he naturally had to decline. However, he made it abundantly clear that he would never even entertain such a notion like the one they had posited.
I wrote him back, as he was down in Patagonia doing something more or less interesting and/or exciting, thanking him for the information and wishing him well on his expedition. Since he was in the field, I also included a couple of the recipes we enjoyed back in the Nevada desert.
He later tells me that the Gauchos he was working with down there have never heard of Pineapple Upside Down Cake and they absolutely were delighted by it. Come to find out, they also like potato juice and citrus drinks as well.
“Good ol’ Dr. Good-deed. Aide to all men.” I pondered.
I talked with Esme about all this and she was of the opinion that either they knew I was headed east or they wanted me to have some time off. I had been doing a lot of ad hoc work for both Agencies and Bureaus over the last few years.
“Of course,” I replied, “Never ascribe to malice what can best be defined by governmental bureaucracy and officiousness.”
So, time puttered on.
We were holding weekly ‘GROJ (Get Rid Of Junk) sales’ on our weekends. Since everything electrical we possessed was 120 VAC, and the rest of the world, it seems, is 220 VAC, I had to part with all my antiquated electronics. My Fisher Studio-Standard stereo system, Akai reel-to-reel 16-track tape machines, EMI TG12345 MK IV recording console, and Harmon-Kardon turntables and amplifiers.
It was painful. However, I rationalized, if I were to stick them in storage for a decade or two, I’d have re-paid for them via rental fees a couple or three times over. Plus, and all that sitting unused in a storage locker certainly wouldn’t be good for these vintage electronical gizmos.
Still, it was a painful time to pack them into the back of someone else’s vehicle.
I had to take all my firearms to my Brother-in-Law for safekeeping. Since he’s in Kentucky, he was both happy to accept and vowed to give them regular workouts. Even though he’s some form or another of mechanical engineer, I guess I could trust him.
One day, the home phone rings. It’s Chuck and he’s livid.
“Rock!” he hollers, “You know what those chapped bastards at the Bureau want from me? They want me to step in on your turf, and take a clan of idiot pseudo-geologists out in the field for a couple of weeks and train them in mine closing. Can you fucking believe that?”
“Chuck,,” I say, “Whoa. Cool down. Leo and Al report the same, so it just looks like you were next on the list. So, going to take them up on their offer?”
“Don’t make me laugh, Doc!” Chuck asks, “First: I’m busy. Second: I wouldn’t have the foggiest idea how to handle logistics, camping, explosives, and all that other bureaucratic horseshit you somehow put up with. Third: I really don’t want a midnight visit from you and your bag of tricks because I’ve pissed you off by taking credit for what’s rightfully yours.”
“What is the fucking deal?” I ask Chuck, “I’m not like that at all. Everyone thinks I’m going go out and frag them because the Bureau asks them to do a job I did previously. Damn, I’m the most laid-back, gregarious, and even-tempered person on the planet; and I’ll mutilate the miserable manky motherfucker that says I’m not.”
Chuck laughs nervously.
“Hyperbole aside,” I continue, “It’s just that they know I’m headed out to the Middle East and don’t want to bother me right now; I suppose.”
“Umm, Rock,” Chuck clears his thought, and gulps, “That’s not the reason they told me.”
“Is that a fact?” I ask, “What did they give as a reason?”
“Now, Rock, don’t take this wrong. This is Bureau-speak, not me,” Chuck wants to make the point vodka-clear, “But they felt you were the wrong person to lead this group of ‘scholars’. They were concerned with your…”
“Spill it, Chuck,” I say.
“Demeanor,” Chuck says, “Your conduct, your deportment, your behavior…”
“I see someone got a Thesaurus for Christmas,” I said.
“Rock, that’s them, not me,” Chuck continues, “They said you are too ‘wild and wooly’ to conduct this field expedition of ‘noted scholars’.”
“Is that a fact?” I ask, rhetorically.
“Just reporting to you what they told me, Bossman.” Chuck offers.
“I appreciate it, Chuck. Thanks.” I reply, “Don’t sweat it. I’ll take it from here.”
You could hear an audible expression of relief when we broke connection.
After a couple of cocktails, I had simmered down a bit. Esme says that I need to call my Agency buddies and get the lowdown on the situation, as they’ll know what’s going on.
For once, Esme is also very, very pissed off about the whole situation. Mama Bear’s claws were getting sharpened.
“You are gone for months,” Es exclaims, “Train a bunch of greenhorns, exceed project requirements by over 200%, supply crucial scientific data on forensic activities, and take out a disaster they didn’t even know existed in that mine with the locker full of explosives!”
“Yeah,” I reply, “Does seem a wee bit unappreciative.”
“And then they pull this kind of shit!,” Es yells further, “Those ungrateful bastards. Fuck ‘em. Let them stew in their own futility. They call and you tell them to get stuffed. After all you did for them…”
“Now, now, Dearest,” say, “Let me call Rack and Ruin. If anyone has the skinny on all this, they’ll have all the latest dope.”
“Bastards!,” Es cries, “You damn near get killed several times over and this is their thanks?”
“Yeah, I know, Darling,” I say, “Does seems a bit ungrateful and duplicitous.”
Esme hands me the phone.
“Phone. Call. Now.” She orders.
Looks like I just got my marchin’ orders.
“Yes, my love,” I reply. Even I know when I’m out-matched.
Agent Rack answers and we go through the usual pleasantries…
“What the flying fuck you mean ‘I’m too dangerous’?” I question Agent Rack.
“Well, Doctor,” Rack tries to explain, “Your ‘cavalier’ attitude towards explosives. More of your ‘relationship’ with them. Not showing the proper deference…”
“WHAT?,” I roar, “Ask anyone that has worked with me in the field! ‘Safety first, last, and foremost’. Just that I don’t fret and quail around explosives like a bunch of phonophobic, jumped-up, wet-pantied shuddering schoolgirls, when I have to demolish something, doesn’t mean I’m anything other than a goddamned consummate professional.”
“Plus, Doctor, ” Rack continues, “It’s not the 1880’s any longer. A Stetson? A sidearm? A .454 Casull Magnum at that…”
“You have got to be yanking my crank here, Rack.” I angrily reply, as I really hate it when someone calls me Doctor like that, “The hat keeps the sun off my head so I don’t get addled like those fuckers you’re talking with at the Bureau. The sidearm is for safety. Oh, yes; there’s that word again. It’s a fucking tool, just like my Estwing hammers or my galvanometer.”
“Can’t kill anyone with a galvanometer,” Rack replies.
“But I could with a hammer, myriad ways” I reply, “And give me five minutes, I’d figure out a way to ‘extract’ someone with a galvanometer...”
Doctor, do let me let you talk with Agent Ruin; I’m needed elsewhere,,” he tells me.
Agent Ruin takes the phone. It’s the old Agency Two-Step.
“Doctor is distraught,” he observes.
No, ‘Doctor’ is just plain damned mad.” I reply, “They contract me for a job that has never been attempted before and I complete it beyond their wildest expectations! This is my recompense?”
“Well, Doctor,” Ruin continues, “I’m sure it’s strictly a business decision. It’s obviously nothing personal.”
“It sure as fuck sounds personal,” I gripe back, as now I’ve gone from annoyed to genuinely pissed off, “I’m surprised they didn’t say something derogatory about my Hawaiian shirts.”
“Oh, they did,” Agent Ruin lets slip.
“Oh? OK, Fine. That’s is then,” I reply, “The joyfulness of this whole experience has left the building. Tell them to strike me from their fucking list. I’m done with them. I wash my hands of them. I’m off east anyways. Fuck that bunch of paper-pushing, deskbound, pencil-necked dickheads. Fuck them. Fuck them solid. Fuck them ‘till they bleed.”
“Strong message to follow,” I add.
Doctor,” Agent Ruin reminds me, “Do I need to remind you that all our conversations are recorded?”
“Oh, fuck no. I know that. So fucking what?” I growl, “Like I’m going to get tossed in Guantanamo for expressing a personal opinion? I can still do that in this fine country. Or has the First Amendment been repealed in my absence?”
“Doctor, you’re obviously agitated,’ Ruin adds, “Perhaps we’ll talk again later when you’ve calmed down before you head to the Middle East.”
“Yeah, about that,” I reply, “You shady characters can cross me off your fucking list as well. You’ve done nothing for me on this latest concern. Nothing! You couldn’t even give me the courtesy of a motherfucking heads-up. Guess that tells me all I need to know about the future of our relationship. Goodbye, Agent Ruin. Give Agent Rack my ‘Da Svidonya. I won’t be answering your calls any longer.
“Doctor, I, um, wait…”Agent Ruin sputters.
I continue: “And as long as I’m at it, tell that other Bureau to go hang as well. They want more data or shit from me, tell them to go find it elsewhere. And also tell them good luck with that. The three experts that exist in the world apart from me already told them to get bent. At least they possess loyalty and a dollop of comradeship. I’ll be shipping your phone and other items back via parcel post. Hasta la vista, Herr Ruin. Have a day.”
CLICK-KER -FUCKING-SMASH! I hang up in the rudest way possible.
“Clapped-out assholes,” I muse. “All those years of working together. All those years of building relationships around the world. It’s all kyboshed over a fucking Hawaiian shirt. I guess it was inevitable. Either I became too specialized or evolved myself out of being useful to them. Ah, well, their loss. Can’t be helped…”
I take a healthy swig right from the prime vodka bottle. OK, several.
“FUCKERS!” I scream at the wood-paneled ceiling, shaking my fist in vehement rage at the clouds coolly cruising by outside my window.
Esme doesn’t come running. She doesn’t have to. She knows the score.
I ship the Agency’s toys back to them with a terse note: “Thanks for all the nothing. Here’s your shit back. Dr. Rocknocker. PS: Get stuffed.”
Not my best effort, I’ll agree. However, I was really pissed at that point.
Now I have the time to devote solely to relocating my family and I overseas. Gad, there’s so much crap one must go through. What to sell, what goes in storage, what to trash, what to give away…the lists are endless.
First to go are all my power tools. Fuckbuckets. It took me decades to amass that collection. I got a good price, sure, but now I’m more or less without a hobby. We decide to put all Esme’s lapidary equipment in storage. It’s too specialized to generate much interest, much less a decent price. Besides, they won’t rot in our absence.
I can ship my fishing gear and golf clubs overseas. They’re American, but at least not 120 VAC.
Our house goes on the market and we have to get it spiffed to within an inch of its life. Got to have that ‘curb appeal’. Good, let someone else do it, I’m busy. More unexpected expense.
I give our house contractors out in New Mexico their marching orders. It’s going slow and will be a seasonal thing, but they guarantee me the house will be ready by next summer if they can source the slabs of Baraboo Quartzite I want. Splendid, that’s something I don’t have to follow up on every day.
Then there’s our aquarium. 250 gallons of treated Houston water, loaded with native Texan fish and a couple of cranky Jack Dempseys. All the gear, filters, pumps, water polishers, heaters, treaters, all of it. Has to go.
My ex-Utah Mormon drinking buddy down the road expresses interest. I basically let him have it gratis on the one condition he takes everything, fish included. He has to keep the fish alive and happy their entire lives. I’ve raised some from minnows and have grown attached to a couple of the gaspergou and a certain smallmouth bass with those big brown eyes…
Digger, my stalwart mechanic, is going to purchase my truck. It’s a bittersweet parting, but at least I know it’ll have a great home. Digger is going to use it as both his personal truck and his company’s hot-shot vehicle for pick-up and delivery of everything from batteries to full drivetrains. I know the vehicle will be in good hands.
Our Land Rover is up for grabs. Few are interested, though; buyer’s market. It’s a couple of years old and has lots of miles, due to Houston being so stupid-big. I order an extra-large bottle of AstroGlide as I know I’m going to be taking it up the ass on this one…
Finally, our pets.
Reluctantly, I’ve agreed to take the cat. It’s a stupid little feline that I figure we can just toss in a suitcase and drag it with us overseas. No, I guess we’ll get a cat-carrier and figure it out with the airlines.
Then there’s Lady. 135 kilos of dopey puppy. She’s getting up in years, as well, especially for a giant breed. Luckily, overseas we’ll be living on a Western compound. So if we go through all the rigmarole of quarantine, getting her a ‘pet passport’, and shipping via a specialist service, Lady can bark at the tenets of pre-Islam (dogs really aren’t haram), and actually join us in our new home.
This is going to cost a fortune, but I don’t care. She’s an integral part of the family, she is going to join us.
I find a Pet Relocation Service and begin the masses of insane paperwork. It’s an ‘all-in’ service, basically door-to-door. But do not be deluded, they charge every micrometer of the way.
Vaccinations, chipping (she already was fitted with an RFID chip), booking, boarding, securing vet services, obtaining health certificates, securing import permits, dealing with all issues related to customs clearance, interacting with foreign agents, supplying IATA approved crates, and obtaining Municipality tags registration for new arrivals.
Gonna cost me a couple-three-four kilobucks. Worth every penny.
Esme, the kids and I are working on beginning packing, tossing this, wrapping that, sentimentalizing over the other thing when we get a ring at the door.
It’s a bonded courier. He has a package for me.
It’s of the size that would contain about 6-months’ worth of Playboy magazines, and has no external address. I sign for the thing and walk back to the kitchen.
“What you got there, Rock?” Es asks.
“Not sure,” I reply, “But it came via bonded courier.”
“Well, open it,” Es smiles. She loves surprises.
I do so and it’s a series of articles, re-prints, and other information regarding Nevada, mine closures, and the Mine Closure Act. There’s also a number of newspaper and magazine clippings that had been photo-copied into a dozen-page document. All of them, write-ups and reviews from different newspapers, house organs, and journals citing my work with the guys out in the field.
I open it further and there’s a personal note from Dr. Sam Muleshoe, and a certified check, made out in my name.
Seems I was correct. After exhausting their leads with Al, Leo, and Chuck, they have spent near a month trying to find someone to take over the project. “To fill my shoes,” as Dr. Sam Muleshoe notes.
They came up totally empty.
“Told ya’ so.” I gloated. Esme smiles a wide schadenfreude-fueled smile.
I look at the check. It’s plenty healthy, but not superhero strength.
I show Es and she laughs out loud.
“So,” Es whoops, “They think they can get back in your good graces by buying you off? Hah! Fat chance,” she says and regards the check, “Hell. They’re not even close.”
I agree with Esme passionately.
I write a quick, hand-scribbled note to Dr. Muleshoe, thanking him for the information. I give several options, some admittedly anatomically impossible, regarding what he can do with the check and the Bureau’s offer.
I wrap it back up with duct-tape, call the courier service, and return it to Reno, COD.
A couple of days later, I receive a phone call. Surprise, surprise, it’s from Reno.
“Rock, it’s Reno!,” Es tells me.
I shake my head “no!” slicing my hand through the air in the head-chop mime.
“Tell him I’ve gone bush in darkest Outer Albania and you have no idea when I’ll be back,” I say.
Esme looks a bit sheepish, as we can hear the phone remark: “I can hear you, you know.”
“Fuckbuckets,” I think, “OK, hand me the rap-rod.”
“Yeah?” I growl, very grizzly-like into the infernal communication device.
“Hello, Rock. This is Sam Muleshoe,” the phone reports.
“Damn,” I exclaim, “I guess you characters can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Which word fucking confused you?”
“Rock, what’s the god damned deal?,” Sam asks innocently, “Why all the bloody hostility?”
“Oh, double-fuck me!” I say metaphorically, “Don’t act like you don’t know. Try and snake the latest field mine closing job out from under me and try to snag my guys. Then, when that fails, give some sort of bullshit report to Rack and Ruin. You think I’m ‘too cavalier’, too “wild and wooly’, and think I’m some goddamned 19th-century throwback that loves horrible Hawaiian shirts…”
“Doc?,” Sam asks, “Are you currently fucking drunk? What the actual fuck are you rabbeting on about?”
“Sam, I’m stone-cold fucking sober,” I reply, “Yeah. I know, that’s a first. But listen here Scooter. You must have balls of brass trying to sweet-talk me into running another field course after all you did…”
“Rock,” Sam pleads, “Please, believe me, I have no idea what you’re on about. Can we talk and maybe figure this thing out?”
“No!,” I holler, “I’m done talking with the likes of your Bureau. Nothing you can do or say to rebuild the bridges they’ve burned with me.”
“OK,” he says, “Doct…, err, Rock, buddy. Calm your tits. Give me the Reader’s Digest version. I’ll look into it, because I have absolutely no idea what this is all about. This really sounds serious, with fuck-up overtones. Trust me, I’m serious as the last cold can of beer on a field trip.”
“Marvelous.” I say, “I guess I owe you that much. Professional courtesy. At least one of us has the grit to employ some.”
So, I run through the tale of the travails of Al, Chuck, and Leo. Then my little difference of opinion with Agents Rack, Ruin, and the Agency. Plus my severing of ties with both that Agency out on the east coast and the Bureaus in the great American Southwest.
“Doctor,” Sam says intently, “I know it’s going to be difficult, but I swear on a box of your finest cigars with a vodka chaser that I didn’t know anything about all this nor did it come from this office. Por favor señor, let me do some digging. I’ll be back in touch.”
“Sam,” I say, thinking over the situation, “Yeah…I must apologize for my previous outbursts. I should have known you’re not behind this idiocy. Yeah, go do some fossicking. Let me know what you dig up. Again, sorry. I was a bit…animated.”
“Rock,” Sam chuckles, “Do you think that I’d dare anger someone like you? You must think I’ve got a serious case of cranial lithification to cheese-off the Motherfucking Pro from Dover!”
At this point, I knew that Sam was also only collateral damage; he too was caught in the crossfire. Ground zero for the original attacks lie elsewhere within the Bureau.
Esme and I go back to preparing for our trip coming up in 2 months. But Jesus Q. Christwagons, there’s so much to do. Everything you own; it gets packed, stored, or trashed.
It’s the decisions that get so tiring. Keep. Toss. Sell. Burn. Leave on someone’s doorstep.
I propose to Es that we just do the basic necessities. Then we hire some firm to finish up for us. It’d be worth the cost since just think what we’d be saving on aspirin and Ace Bandages.
Esme readily backs the idea that we should turn the job over to someone else. Plus in the interim, we can take a trip back home to Baja Canada so the kids could visit their grandparents, we visit our family, and all of us could cool out a bit before the big trip east.
I need to drop by Big Ray’s Tap for a few hours/days anyways.
Old commitments.
We’d go the beginning of our last month here in the States, spend a couple of weeks visiting family at home, leave the kids with the grandparents to get spoiled rotten. Es and I would return to Houston to finalize everything.
Then Es and I would fly from Houston to that damn sprawling annoyance of an airport on the big lake in Illinoise. The family would meet us there, handover the kids, and we’d all haul ass eastwards to the Middle East.
I readily agreed. Anything has to be better than dealing with this crapola.
Lady and the stupid cat would go to the pet schleppers a little early. Sure, it’d cost a few more dinars, but that’s one big headache sorted.
So, late one afternoon, I’m sitting in my office, trying to figure out exactly what reference works I couldn’t live without.
Compton’s? Save. Field Guide to Fungus? Toss. No, wait a minute. Could prove useful.
That’s why this is taking forever.
The phone rings.
It’s Sam.
“Hello, Sam,” I say, “What news?”
“Goddamn it all to fucking hell and back,” Sam roars.
“That’s a unique greeting,” I reply.
“I finally drilled down to the bottom of all this horseshit.,” Sam replies, “And it’s a real bowl of fuck all the way south.”
“I’m listening,” I say, “Actually, Sam, hold on. I need a drink. Moment.”
I give Es the high sign, note it’s Sam on the phone, and that I’ll be in my office if she hears any screaming.
I amp up my drink and return to my office, closing the door behind me.
Lady is here, waiting to keep my feet warm.
“OK Sam, your nickel,” I say, “What’s the scoop?”
“Would you believe?,” he begins, “That all batshittery this came from accounting and bookkeeping?”
“Well,” I reply, “I’ll have to admit that I’m not overly surprised.”
“Yeah,” Sam continues, “I was off on holiday. My first two weeks off after 5 years. My very temporary replacement received a memo from the head of the Bureau that there was great interest in you leading a shortened version of your last trip to demonstrate to a bunch of different university PhDs in the care and feeding of abandoned mines. Seems the Bureau Chief was very impressed with what you and your team accomplished.”
“OK,” I reply, “With you so far. So, where did things get wrapped around a tractor’s nuts?”
“Right,” he replies, “Here’s where things first went off the rails. Whoever vetted the list of potential attendees sorted the list alphabetically, not by field of expertise. Of course, the obvious first choice would be for geologists; especially those with mining, field, and blasting experience.”
“Ah,” I replied, “No wonder it was such a miscellaneous bunch of baloney-loaf whole-grain enviro-types that Al had mentioned.”
“Yep,” Sam agreed, “But before anyone with any brains got sight of that list, some fucknuts in the Bureau’s University Liaison department sent out invitations.”
“Invitations?” I asked, “To what?”
“That’s just the thing,” Sam continued, “They sent out invites to a program that didn’t yet exist, run by someone who had yet to be contacted, much less secured.”
“Oh, hey! That’s some good work you guys do down there.” I snort.
“Indeed,” Sam agrees, “So once that hit the mail, we started getting back replies and acceptances.”
“And there was no project, no leader, no logistics…?” I asked.
“No shit,” Sam scoffs. “So, what did these idiots here do? Contact the attendees and explain the problem. Take a little flack, but get it sorted out then try again?”
“Let me guess,” I said, “No?”
“Nope,” Sam sighs, “By that time, it was in the works and in the hands of accountants.”
“Oh, fuck,” I commiserated. “I feel your pain.”
“Yeah,” Sam continues, “They see that you’re the hookin’ bull on the last one and they dig into your contract. They figure, ‘Whoa, he’s way too expensive, just look at these expense accounts’, so they do an end-around and contact your colleagues.”
“Al, Chuck, and Leo. They’re damn good guys,” I said, “Fine field scientists, all. But I don’t think any of them have the moxie or experience yet to run a whole field course.”
“These accounting shitheads never bothered to find out,” Sam groans, “It was all ‘bottom line’, so you got caught in the squeeze.”
“OK,” I reply, “I see how that happened, but what about all the shit about me being a 19th-century throwback, that I’m unsafe, wear horrible Hawaiian shirts, and all that shit?”
“Comedy of bloody errors,” Sam says, “Actually, the Bureau Chief likes your fashion sense; you should see some of his shirts. But your slime campaign was based on unreliable evidence, tall tales, folklore, and outright fabrications. It was easy to pimp someone with a personality like yours, it’s been said. Someone was trying desperately to cover his ass. However, we have identified the perpetrator.”
“Next time I’m in Reno,” I said, “I’ll pay him a friendly little visit and arrange his transport to Neptune. One way. Y’know, it’d be easy for someone with a ‘personality like mine’.”
“Ah, yeah. He won’t be here,” Sam says, “In fact, we don’t know where the hell he went. He was immediately sacked, as were a couple of the more boneheaded accountants.”
“That’s redundant,” I smirk, “They really don’t want to talk with or see me anytime soon.”
“Right, then Rock,” Sam says, “We green again?”
“Yeah, Sam,” I reply, “Sure. Green as a New Saigon. But you’ve got to call Rack and Ruin for me. You have to let them know how this whole clusterfuck came to be. We had some words a while back.”
“Oh, yeah,” Sam remembers, “I talked with them the other day. They said they’ll be in Houston in a couple of days.”
“Cor! Just what I fucking need right now,” I lament. “Ah, it is what it is.”
“OK, Rock. Now, back to reality. You interested?” Sam asks.
“Send me a JD (job description) and the project particulars. The price of poker’s really going up this time, Sam. Stratospheric. Sorry, it’s all just business.” I relate.
“Yeah…,” Sam sighs, “I figure we’ll really owe you if you can drag our ass out of the campfire on this one.”
“You have no idea,” I chuckle. We exchange farewells and ring off.
Now I have some talking to do with my significant other.
Since we were all set to go back to Baja Canada, I could use those two weeks to go to Nevada, if necessary. I can be back in Houston with Es for the last two weeks before we’re slated to travel, and we can sort out the house.
“This won’t be an easy sell,” I muse, before chatting with my darling, brilliant, and ever-so-forgiving partner.
“I’ll need a drink first”, I declare.
Esme notes that it would be nice to have a little spare cash with us when we move overseas.
You could have dropped me with a Claymore. Es never fails to flummox me.
So, provisional OK from the powers that be. Now all I have to do is wait on Sam’s prospectus.
The next day, the doorbell rings. It’s Agents Rack and Ruin.
One is holding a box of very expensive cigars, and one is holding a bottle of very expensive bourbon.
I turn to Es and remark, “Look here, darlin’. Geeks bearing gifts.”
“Hello, Doctor,” Rack says, bristling, “We need to talk. “
“Why?” I ask, “I do seem to recall that I’m no longer associated with you people any longer.”
“Doctor,” Agent Ruin cocks his head contritely, bowing ever so slightly, “May we please have a moment of your time?”
I look to Es. She shrugs her shoulders. Luckily I’m partial to Es’ opinion. I am also partial to good bourbon and cigars, especially when someone else is paying for them. So I shrug my shoulders as well and tell them to make entry.
“My office, “ I say, “You know the way. Mind the boxes.”
Once in my office, the Agents stack their offerings and go on in great detail, basically collaborating Sam’s story. I remain steadfast and stony as the Harney Peak Granite of Mr. Rushmore fame. I’m not giving anything away any longer.
“Well, Doctor,” Agent Ruin finalizes, “That’s the story, warts and all.”
“Yep, it is pretty warty,” I agree, “So?”
“We would like to rekindle our relationship,” Agent Rack reports, “These are for starters.”
He hands me the cigars and booze; plus another box.
“Thanks,” I say, “But just because I accept your peace offerings, that doesn’t mean we’re going to turn back the clock.”
“What are you suggesting?” Agent Ruin asks.
“No more consulting,” I reply, “I want in. The ‘Full Monty’, as it were. If I’m going overseas and work for some twitchy Middle Eastern sandpit’s national oil company, I want perks, tabs, and my ass duly covered.”
“Work two full-time jobs simultaneously?” Agent Rack asks.
“However you want to structure it,” I say, “No more consulting. From here on out, you want me, you’re making me a full-fledged full-timer.”
Agents Rack and Ruin look at each other, enquiringly.
“Doctor,” Agent Rack replies, “We are prepared to offer you an ad hoc Agency appointment. You will be fully attached but you will be also doing your full-time job in the other country.”
“I’m listening. Tell me more,” I ask, “What exactly are you offering?”
“Full access to all pertinent information,” Agent Ruin continues, “Full entrée to appropriate facilities and, um, assets. Security for you and your family in case of, well, shall; we say, ‘difficulties’. Monthly minimum payment of [$$$] to any non-US bank of your choice. Extra duties would be duly compensated. Top clearances. An enhanced potential payment package, bonus possibilities, and full benefits for you.”
“Full benefits for me and my family,” I say, “Or there’s the door. Non-negotiable” I point out.
“Very well. That had been anticipated.” Agent Rack replies.
“Gentlemen,” I say, “Let us shake on what I hope turns out to be a beautiful relationship.”
We shake hands and I sign my life away. I’m really in it now, up to my neck. I have to learn to shut up more and just listen.
“Now, gents,” I say, “In order to seal the deal, let us break out the drinking stuff you’ve brought along. We will also smoke together so that we will know there will be no lies or deceit between us.”
“Also anticipated, Doctor,” both agents agree.
My ‘new’ old colleagues prepare to leave a while later, after a cigar, and far too much of what was a full bottle of expensive gift booze. They always get you in the end.
Contained within the other small box were my new Agency credentials, updated version satellite phone, secure codes, and a nifty new Swiss Army Knife, with a built-in cigar cutter.
With renewed dedication and expectations all ‘round, Agents Rack and Ruin take their leave.
They hope to be able to meet me and the family, remember, they are Uncles Rack and Ruin, overseas one day in the not too distant future. My information, further updated cards, registration, and all that official business guff will come to the specific Middle Eastern country’s US Embassy for me once we arrive and get settled.
“Marvelous,” I muse.
I receive an Email from Dr. Muleshoe explaining what we talked about and his hopes for my stickhandling a ‘quick’ 2-week field excursion for the approximately 15 Ph.D. types from around North America. Seems there’s a couple of Canadians and one Mexican professor that expressed desires to join. They had actually forwarded funds to be included in our number.
Sam suggests I drive out in my truck and proceed as per the last trip. Get the trailer, fill it with noisemakers, and the Bureau would sort out transportation and lodging for the attendees. Seems some want to camp, like real geologists, and some want to lodge in hotels, like real non-geologists.
I write Sam back:
First item: this is a 2-week sojourn into the desert. It’s a field meeting, emphasis on the field, not a tour of Nevada’s many fine hotels, resorts, and casinos.
Item two: I no longer possess my truck. The Bureau will provide me with the appropriate vehicular equivalent. No passengers, this will be the Camp Chief truck from the onset. Besides, I am the only one licensed to drive the vehicle when coupled to an explosives-laden trailer.
Item three: I will be flown to and from Reno from Houston. No buses, trains, or automobiles. It’s business class or zilch.
Item the fourth: the Bureau will source the necessary support logisticians to provide food, drink, and toilet paper for the 16 professionals while we are in the field. They will also need to provide cooks, dishwashers, camp tidiers, and the like as I don’t have time to deal with 15 potentially field-fresh, whiny waterhead PhDs.
Item the fifth: The Bureau will provide for all pre- and post-trip handling of participants. They can handle hotel rooms for the early arrivers or late-stayers. They can manage arrivals, registration, signing of necessary documents, and assuring vaccination records are up to snuff, waivers are signed, etc. They will also handle the transportation of participants to/from and during the field project, when and where necessary.
Item the sixth: I include a new version of my contract. Force Majeure, ‘Take or Pay’ clause. Door to door coverage. Plus my, ahem, augmented day rate. Absolutely non-negotiable.
Item seven: I have final say over what is done in the field. I am in command, the boss, the head cheese, the head honcho, and I require absolute discipline, especially where explosives are concerned. “My way or the highway” will be the theme of the trip. Gain, non-negotiable.
To be continued.
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[Table] IAmA Wal*mart employee, ask me absolutely anything!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2014-06-01
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
What is the biggest dick move a customer has ever done to you? Probably the time we had a lady come in, purchase 10 iPad Air tablets (yup), then come in later, back to electronics (we don't have a carousel for our bags) and proceed to have me ring up $1,000 USD of groceries and children's clothing, and a couple prepaid phone cards. On top of it taking me a hour to ring up, her card was also declined, and she just left two shopping carts, with items already bagged, just sitting there.
At least selling two grand worth of iPads was fun.
That sounds really sketchy. Eyes forward, don't ask questions.
Ok, I mean no disrespect to you, and I'm sure others will find your insights fascinating, but what is the deal with these AMA's for commonplace things? Being a wal-mart employee or a McDonalds worker is not a rare or amazing thing. I suppose my question to you then is what the most fascinating thing about walmart that shoppers aren't usually aware of? Yeah, I'll be honest in that this AmA was sparked by that one. I'm also a former employee of McDonald's, and there are interesting things about the big brands. I guess one of the most interesting things in my opinion is how much the average employee actually cares about their job, and invests in it. When I was hired I didn't think I'd really care, but we really do feel inclined to help people who are willing to receive it.
It felt great to know I helped someone stay entertained while on the road. I just imagine some dirty trucker driving his rig while taking long gazes watching HD porn on a portable bluray. He was Puerto Rican with gaged ears, just to give some imagery.
Do most of the people hired work out? Or is there a high turnover rate? Do you have any idea what percentage of the people who apply for a job at your Walmart get hired? In my time, our store is really good about retaining our employees. It's a smaller supercenter, so we all go by our first names. Our Personnel department is awesome, and our managers are pretty cool. I have one who is a total nerd, one who brings candy everyday, and one who is a total asshole, which is actually a nice change sometimes.
Do you sell fish? Yep! And they're located right next to electronics so I get to sell fish almost daily. I got two goldfish for these two little girls yesterday, I enjoyed it.
Your walmart takes good care of the fish? I'm glad :) Depends. Our goldfish tank is overcrowded. Floating dead fish. I don't like seeing it, and it sure isn't fun to have kids see it. Even worse when parents tell the kids that the fish are "just sleeping".
Depends. Our goldfish tank is overcrowded. Floating dead fish. I don't like seeing it, and it sure isn't fun to have kids see it. Even worse when parents tell the kids that the fish are "just sleeping". Hmmm... I guess you're not some corporate hack doing a PR stunt. Haha, I feel like one. But I'm just giving my honest opinion.
Awh :( that's terrible. I would dispose of them myself, but throwing them in the trash doesn't feel dignified. The crowded fish tanks are one of the things I'd change about Walmart.
I'm another cog in a different part of that machine (yet the same department) and this doesn't have the feel of a corporate stunt. I've seen corporate stunts. I actually told my coworker I was doing this, let him read it, and he's like "Jesus, they must think you're PR as much as you like this place." Apparently you're not alone.
Well, it's better than them floating around with the live ones. True. I dunno, I prefer to treat animals in a humane way.
The best thing to do would be to put them in a small Viking ship, gently push it to the center of the aquarium and light it on fire. You should do that. If the aquariums weren't stacked 4 high with the goldfish on the bottom, this would be an awesome idea.
I work as a vendor of sorts to many different Walmart locations in my state, and the vast majority of employees I've talked to have said that they are quite happy working there. Granted, I'm only there during the night shift, but their opinions seem to differ greatly from how the general public sees Walmart (i.e. negatively). What seems to be the general outlook of you and your co-workers about working there? The younger guys (me and the three guys I worked with tonight) have future plans outside of Walmart. One came from the casino, one from a hospital background, and I from working at a car wash. I personally plan on going into engineering, not sure what exactly their plans are.
We enjoy our jobs, we have fun most of the time. Life's what you make it.
How are you? I'm alright. And you?
Quite peachy. I'm finishing up this school year and cut off all my hair (20 inches). Any major thing happen to you, work related or otherwise, you want to share? Tonight was fun. Just bullshit with my coworkers for two hours while doing freight, telling them how I want Jennifer Lawrence in every movie ever (Maltese Falcon). Oh, and I have new work pants which is nice. 20 inches? Dang, that's a change. What's the occasion?
Maltese Falcon, you say? Eh, I guess she'd be okay. They're not making a remake of it anytime soon are they? The 41 version is still pretty good. No, not that I've heard. I enjoyed the version from the forties.
Are the work pants for Walmart from Walmart? Yes, walmart pants from Walmart for Walmart.
Yeah, having a bob is weird, man, in a good way. I guess it's s first step to changing myself, becoming more confident, all that empowerment crap. I donated it to cancer. Good on you, man. Save the worlddd.
They don't make them quite like they used to. Yeah, I could become a super hero...WigKing If by superhero you mean price gouging businessman.
Why is your Coke Rep delivering Mountain Dew when it's a Pepsi product? You caught me, but my point was to say that our major brands sell really fast, while our less popular stuff sits for a few days usually.
What exactly happens when someone is caught shoplifting in Walmart? I mean, I never actually met anyone that could clarify me this and I was at Walmart this day and a guy got caught and it made me curious about what exactly they do to him after that. There are any lists (based on known stealers or something) or kinds of people (like a hobo or a shoeless/shirtless person)that security tries to forbid inside Walmart? What kind of thing they search for in a person when they suspect shoplifting? What if they acuse an innocent customer, they get fired? And most importantly: what would you do if you found any young or old, guy or lady shoplifting? Which brings me to my ultimate question: what are your instructions for customer's behaviors? I mean, what should you do if a random guy curses you with bad words? What happens if you spot a person breaking something (on purpose or not)? What if you walk in some kinda department or the bathroom and find a couple having sex or something? Any kinda weird thing that may occur, I dunno. Overall, the blanket policy for almost all those infractions would be "report it to management." They instruct us to report suspicious behavior, and AP takes it from there. I don't worry too much, because our guys are really good at their jobs.
Why do you have a bunch of registers but only like 3 cashiers working at a time? Depends on the time of day. I don't usually go to the front unless I'm taking movies or escorting a TV or high value item to the front. Electronics cashiers can be called to help checkout, although I've only done it once.
When you go to other Wal Marts do you critique the store? Sorta? I went to one recently though that had an immaculate electronics department, I bragged to our manager for weeks about it.
So I guess you're right
What is the most awkward piece of merchandise someone has tried to steal? I've never seen anything crazy, but yesterday someone apparently drank a full bottle of vanilla extract, containing 46% alcohol.
Has anyone hid in walmart overnight? Possibly a homeless person sleeping under a bed or within a display tent? It wouldn't surprise me, I've helped a few guys who come in that are super destitute, one guy even charges his wheelchair at walmart.
What sort of games do you play with your coworkers while working? Different games, but my favorite is when I just start saying unintelligible stuff and making screeching noises. That's a common thing for me. Just anything to pass the time.
Do your managers slave drive your unloaders? Haha, I know that I love being back there with them. They have the best sense of humor, and the music back there is way better than the floor music. There is a lot of work going on back there, so I'm sure some managers see micromanagement as necessary. Personally, almost all those guys are hard workers so it's not necessary.
How many people do they have for the unloaders on an average day? I don't really know the numbers. Probably 5? I'm unsure.
Do you like strawberries? Love them. Especially dipped in sugar AND chocolate.
Do you or other employees remove the higher value/sought after Hot Wheels cars from the boxes before they make it to the floor? I have heard that this is commonplace at many stores, and being a collector this interests me. Haven't heard of this, although I doubt I'd ever have to do it if we did. I'll talk to toys tomorrow. I know we have a guy who will check on our shipments, knows the hot wheels UPC by heart, and has us check 2 to 3 times a week. I'm intrigued.
Does walmart have standards in who they hire? Honestly, would they hire almost anyone? There are standards, albeit lower standards. Maintenance requires a good work ethic, that's about it. Electronics (in the afternoon), grocery, and maybe apparel, are all pretty high standard jobs. Grocery has they're work cut out for them everyday, electronics in the afternoon has to know pretty much the whole back half of the store, and apparel answers courtesy desk phones. Other jobs probably have distinct requirements, but those three are some of the highest entry-level jobs.
I now know how to do EVERYTHING on the back half of the store... Had to find and sell a tire last night.
Whats the most expensive thing you have seen someone attempt to steal? and for bonus points how did it all go down when caught? Unfortunately, I am never there during the good attempts, but we did have a guy try to steal a cart full of clothes and miscellaneous stuff. He had already bagged it and everything, it was a good attempt. When AP (Asset Protection) caught him, he was escorted by 3 policeman and everything. It was funny.
My brother used to do this. He'd bring bags to Zellers (I don't think we had a Walmart back then) and stuff action figures in them, then walk out. He had all sorts of nifty ways to try and steal. He tried teaching me once, failed horribly, and my mom had to come to Safeway to berate us. I was impressed by the strategy, but AP loves their jobs, and lives to catch people stealing. I've never seen or AP guys so happy unless they're catching someone.
So, I am told not to shop at Walmart because they treat their workers badly and their cheap prices come at a cost to others. Can you attest to this? Do you ever shop their your self (going out of your way rather than convenience)? Do you know people that don't shop at Walmart because of "ethical" reasons? What's your favorite fruit flavoured candy? This is a fun question. Where I live, I we want anything other than groceries we have to go to another town to buy it. I tend to go to Walmart out of convenience. I usually purchase my lunches from there if I don't have money to get Chinese nearby.
I understand the reasoning behind people hating their walmart job. People have bad days, bad managers, bad customers, or are depressed to feel like a cog in a machine (like me). However, my coworkers are awesome, management isn't awful, and the customers tend to appreciate my effort.
My favorite would have to be those peach rings, I could stuff my face without caring.
Peach rings are lovely and dangerous! Thanks so much for your thoughtful response! Of course! It's worth noting that yesterday one of my managers got me a big bag of sour gummy worms for helping her stock grocery aisle. That kind of stuff makes me love my job, even the thought and showing of appreciation.
Do you get any insurance or other benefits? If so are they any good? We get a discount card! So there's that... 10% off everything but groceries. We usually get to do layaway before everyone else.
You do get 10% off groceries during the holiday season though. I think it starts in November and ends early January. Produce is also eligible for discount if I recall correctly. Mhm! Just more of a technicality. I'll definitely use it. Also, if you buy food at checkout or near it, you can sometimes get a discount on it considering it's not registered on the grocery department.
I think you usually get the discount on soda and junk food like chips. Never tried it, I usually just bring my own food and drink water by the gallon
Why? Good question. I often lay awake at night wondering this. At the same time, I ponder the other 4 W's; What, Where, When, and Who. Don't get me started on How.
FTFY. As have I for you.
How much do you get paid? Just above minimum wage. Like 90 cents above.
I'm going for my job offer on Saturday any advice? Its for apparel although I would much much rather electronics. Just be calm, let then know you're competent, and you'll be okay. I've heard that fitting rooms have to act as courtesy desk sometimes (i.e., they answer the phones), so that might suck, but mostly the older ladies work our fitting rooms and they're awesome. I'm guilty of flirting with older women because it makes their days better and is really fun.
Do they still have stockmen (ie lowest on the totem pole peon employees that do the shit jobs?) DOnt confuse this with actual shelf-stockers. I dont know why they called them stockmen because they practically did no stocking of shelves. Maybe calling them "shit job doers" was not PC. Uhm, I'm not sure? We have overnight stockers... I think you may be referring to maintenance. They tend to do a lot of shitty jobs.
How often do you see the "People of Walmart"? Yes and no. I see some real characters, but none with amazing fashion sense as seen on PoW.
Actually saw a few "People of Walmart" the last couple nights. More sad than funny in my opinion.
I've heard that "Code 50" on the loudspeaker commands employees to retrieve shopping carts from the parking lot. Can you confirm? Also if you know some other codes could you include them please? Never heard of that. We usually communicate by walkie and just call maintenance up there to do it. I've also heard of everybody going to gather carts at midnight.
Other than our fire, bomb, storm, etc. codes, there are only cashier codes which are pretty much used to ask for change and a bathroom break.
Do you hate your job? Not really. I've got a pretty upbeat outlook on life, but I definitely plan on switching to something more to my tastes soon.
I keep seeing a pretty big push on tv for steaks from walmart, are they really that good? Never had them, I get mine from a grocery store called Marvins/CVS.
Ever just hide in one of the large boxes and take a nap and/or sit there giggling because noone can see you during work? That sounds like fun haha. I'll have to try that some time
What is the largest amount of money you have seen somebody spend in one trip to walmart? 5,000. More than my student debt and car loan combined
What the hell did they buy?? 16 iPads.
I have heard that there is a Walmart song and if you ask an employee to sing it, they have to or they will be fired. True or false? If by walmart song you mean whatever I have stuck in my head that day, of course I'll sing it to you, whether you ask me or not.
There's a Walmart song sung in the mornings, I've never done it, nor do I plan to.
Everyone I know personally that works at WalMart is a piece of shit. Is this common, or do they just give WalMart employees a bad name? Eh. They're maybe 1 in 4 employees that are just lazy. I am good friends with one of them, and even he will still do what he has to. Some places just have more bad employees than others.
What are the lyrics of this "Walmart song"? I'm seriously curious. Also, do you think all countries have a version of this song translated to their native languages or they just make up another song, or even exclude this whole song thing at all? Also, why didn't you sing it before? I can't remember, I've looked it up before, it's like a cheer. Give me a W, give me an A, etc. Pretty bland and uninteresting.
What is your favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey and Swiss with olive oil mayo on wheat bread.
Do you feel as though Walmart is really a big, evil corporation? Big, yes. Evil? Not by definition. Obviously large companies will have bad eggs, and those bag eggs can spoil the bunch. I do not plan on working long-term for Walmart, but if they catered to the industry I will pursue, I'd consider staying. They could definitely be better, but they aren't as awful as perceived, we just joke about it.
I was at an Apple store once and there were these two Asian men buying about 8-10 iPads, in cash, discussing how they were donating them to kids in Hawaii. WTF. Much sketch
What is the most soda you have seen someone buy at one time, I ask this because every time I go to Walmart there is some fat ass in a scooter with a cart behind them tied to the scooter full of soda. Yesterday a guy in a scooter had about 5 2-liters. I talked to the Coke rep and he said he has to fill up the major sellers (Coke, Dr. Pepper, Mtn. Dew) twice a day.
What do you think of Asda (WalMart UK) I've not really looked at them to see how similar they are to ours, but I hope they changed the format over there to keep it having at least a partially local feel to it.
The bakery is probably the best thing about Walmart here. Fresh Chocolate dohnuts yay. I like our bakery because I can chat up one of the workers and flirt for extra food. It's anyways fun!
Just a warning,there is probably enough info in your profile + IAmA proof for WM to identify you. I'm not sure I'm giving away trade secrets, ways to trick the system, anything other than an ongoing court case, which they can't really discipline for.
The eyes of Bentonville are far seeing and do not forget transgressions against their name, however horrible it may be. Joking aside, if they are watching this AmA, I'm sure I would've/will get a sitting down and talking to if I cross their line. Just sharing an honest opinion of my job isn't really anything more than Internet gossip. If you think everybody complaining about walmart on the Internet is bad, you should see WalmartOne.
Nah, those shitty boxcutters go to EVERYONE. I have three. I treat them like cars.
I still have the orange industrial cutter they gave us before they switched to that yellow piece of crap. I'm on the floor, so it doesn't bother me.
So am I. It just doesn't feel like a proper tool. I know, I get that corporate is all about safety, but I've had jobs with more dangerous boxcutters without having a problem using them. Knock on wood, I've yet to be in any danger on the job.
Last updated: 2014-06-06 02:36 UTC
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